You must never be frightened love, no never
The sun beams there at the corner of your mouth
Darkness rolls back in a wave where you point
It washes in
It washes in
But every time you send it back

You believed that only to see me was to know me
That in the crook of my neck, somewhere at the corner of my mouth
Was the doorknob, was the threshold
Was an easy answer
A smile worn so many times it was a second skin
I see what you think behind your tired eyes
That maybe I could have been a sweet salvation
That maybe I could be the reprieve that fell just before the gun rose
A hallelujah that tore from your throat in the final hour
But I am my own
No more a lifeboat, no more an innocence you lost
Than I am a make-believe
A pretend girl
Who speaks the gentlest word
Who bears all things with soft soft patience
I have razor blade corners
I have dark molten pools
And bent at the waist willow arms
I know you
And your empty easy jokes and your honeysuckle nothings
Your pleas for attention
I hear what you say behind what you're saying
And I answer back lilting and false naive
I can play the game you invented
Where I am only a ghost
Only a light in the dark
Only the little stranger you once told yourself you knew

Ah little stubborn-headed starsnatcher
Drinker from the deep
I see you
A bluebird in a glass house
A lark in a crystal cage
You might have been a watercolor painting
Bleeding colour
If I could get you to sit still for it
If I could get you to sit still for anything at all
But your legs are too long
You're always running
You're laughing over one shoulder
And crying into the other
Breathing hard the fern-swathed path
Pressing your hands into the sky

Rain on the River Valley

There is a downy silvered fog at the window early this morning
I find it wrapped around the meadow below
Here a raindrop, there a half-frozen toad on the slate steps
Only a few weeks ago I would lie still in the summer's ivy
With bumblebee's drawing too close and then humming away indignant at their mistake
I am not quite their wildflower
But if I were
I would lilt and unfurl in the heavy misted morning
Dripping the sky
Laughing all in color against the gray
Eyes wide open

Psalm 327

I thought that I wanted the forest
The leaves turning white-gold
The moss on the carpet
The trail that winds around the maples, soft
I thought that I wanted the winter
The first snowfall, December mornings
The cardinal in his jacket red
And I thought that I wanted the spring
I thought that I wanted a particular kiss
Plucked from old memories
Sweetened by time
I thought that I wanted the ocean
The plover, the sunbather
The couple picnicking near the surf
I thought that I wanted my youth
I thought that I wanted an instant pleasure
Taste of chocolate, the rasping singers voice
Long days dozing under the covers, playing at hide and seek with my life
I thought that I wanted so many things
But I was wrong
I thought that I wanted a holiday with family and friends
Tinsel and candles and starry, stark nights
I thought that I wanted my mothers voice on Christmas morning
Or a Valentine, a rose, a warmth
I thought that I wanted to change everything
Of myself, of my days, of my heart
To turn back time gently and wake from this disappointed dream
To relive all those silver moments again and again
And never advance from them
I thought that I wanted what I thought had been stolen
I thought I wanted to tear out these pages, burn the book
And try all over again, just once more
And this time I would get it right
I thought that I wanted so many things
But I was wrong
There was someone braver than me, and kinder too
Who waited patient while I tried to force my daydreams to materialize
Who understood that it wasn't the trees or the moss
It wasn't an irretrievable moment, or a laugh or a certain hand
Or light, or day, or me
That I wanted
It was
Him

Both Our Hearts are Light, Tonight

This is a potent cup
And it does not pass from us
But we cup it in our hands
We become drunk with pain, with love
But above all, with willpower
That all this shall not have been in vain
That though the tunnel has been dark
There has always been a light, at the end of it
We step into it, taller
Stronger than at the start
Battle-weary yet glad for it all
In spite of the wars we saw, the disease we fought
The emptiness which would not fill for anything,
Not with power, money, family or fame
But which we find in the end we found was a vast hole
That didn't need filling in
But for us to climb up out of it
Into the wholeness of the daylight
We see tenderly,
Our own attempts to bury ourselves alive
With warm, soft earth
With our ruinous desires
We think ourselves so brave
Brave enough even to murder our dearest friend
Us
Yes, it has all been disaster
When I go walking in the garden to whisper secrets to the flowers
There are thorns and snakes and the very little bees which
Grow the flowers
Find me offensive
And harm me
We reach out to do good wherever we can
And people we deeply adore
Tear our limbs from us
To give all that you have, is yet
Never enough
One is never safe
No decision ever spared one of us a life free of sadness
Even our beloved God's favorites
Grew old and died
With calloused feet and thirsty lips
Only hope and a gentle kiss to leave with
The best of us falter
And fail
We fight, and are petrified of the smallest things
We hide in the cities where the stars won't remind us how small we are
Each of us like a grain of sand
Which has never even seen the ocean yet
In spite of all this
I am as happy as ever
Though I suffer, oh yes
And all those I love more dearly than myself too
Every day I wake up, sleepy and tousled
To find life happening still
Flowers blooming, autumn bursting to life
Rain falling soft on the windowpane
Or sunlight calling me outdoors
Somedays I crumple and cry foul
The ways of the Maker and the Made
Oh, but I know better
In my soul of souls
Everything that burns in my sight
Is reborn more powerful, more lovely
From the healthy ash
Everyone to whom I have said goodbye
My irrepressible, beautiful God
Has said hello to, in the same moment
And both our hearts are light
Tonight

Wishes

Let's all be children today
And I'll be me
And you be you
I'll wear feathers
You bring your bracelet
We'll go wherever the warm wind
Takes us
And I'll be me
And you be you
Let's all be children today