For a young Lulu like me, the time whips past me nowadays. The days are just so short, only 24 hours to play, have snacks, visit exciting places, go to work, pray, struggle and succeed. I can never find enough time, and the moment I feel that I have a hold on all of the things I treasure, they slip out of my fingers and vanish for a spell.
That's why, my wonderful friends, I am absolutely in love with the magical invention called a camera.
Everything about it stirs my chubby heart. I love the little click it makes, the massive lenses that I change to capture the birds from 200 meters away or to sneak into the tiny world of a flower or bumblebee. I wish I could explain how much joy and inspiration and change this one simple tool has brought into my humble world. There are many splendid ways of capturing the imagination, and every one of us is an incredible artist each in our own ways as we explore the meaning of our lives and the mystery of the spirit surrounding us.
I love paints, I love sketching pencils. I go crazy with writing, pouring myself out in words comes so naturally and just feels so right. Always with a pen or typing, I can speak myself clearly without the stumbling and shyness that sometimes sneaks up on me when I engage with the people I care about day to day.
But there is nothing, nothing like a camera for me. Nothing like pressing that blessed little button and stopping all of time forever, to revisit whenever I want to.
It drives me crazy. Do you know that silly feeling when you absolutely itch in your soul to do what your heart loves best? It's very bad of me, cause I used to tease a wonderful friend for his inclination to carry his movie camera with him everywhere, no matter what we were doing; oh but now I understand so deeply. When you find the thing that expresses so profoundly everything that you feel and love and savor, it comes to your mind whenever another beautiful moment arises. I feel a deep need to capture.
I also have a very poor memory, and if I don't have something written down or photographed that I can return to, sometimes my memories lie sleeping in my mind for ages and I forget them completely.
But I want to be a time-traveler, able to return to when I was fourteen and twenty and what I did a few weeks ago. I hope so much that my great Love has something like a camera in His Kingdom, some way to freeze the moments of eternity and return to them whenever I wish.
Photographs have broken and freed my heart. In a glance, I can return to people I miss dearly and feel that somehow, I'm still with them. I have a very beautiful photo of my grandmother and my sweet Cilla hugging on a flowery porch at my aunt's house in the country, and every time I see it, it makes me feel as if we aren't separated for now. Somehow from within the depths of the photograph, they visit with me.
Photos can even be dangerous for me. I get lost in nostalgia sometimes, and have had to hide photos from myself (but I always keep them) so that I wouldn't stumble across them and get hit with a wave of reverie that would take me away from the happiness in my present moments.
Photos became my diary a few years ago; a journal for myself when I found my hands empty and I was unsure of how to see myself anymore. I didn't know who I was or what I was meant for; I felt like life's biggo-est failure and I was greatly unhappy with who I was. I had a very small camera, a simple little purple one that didn't work very well and washed everything out colorwise, but I loved it and every now and then when I felt lost, I'd hold it out at arms length and try to catch a glimpse of the lovable, vibrant and enthusiastic girl I hoped was resting somewhere inside of me.
And it worked!
With every photo, somehow I felt that I knew myself better. I hadn't been very happy whenever someone wanted to take my peekture before. There's lots of photos of me when I was a little Lulu either scowling or making a very goofy face cause cameras made me uncomfortable. But I always loved when the photos arrived, in shiny square prints. I'd look through them again and again and again. I was crazy about pictures of us.
When I joined the community called Flickr, I didn't use it as a portfolio, I just got lost in the massive sea of other peoples lives. The photos were so exquisite and glorious, of people I would never meet and places I might never see. I could travel the world and see millions of stories without moving an inch. That's when I started to get excited about sharing my stories too. My wonderful Poppies friend Bethie traded me her DSLR for my easier to use point and shoot, and unwittingly began me on the funnest journey I've ever been on.
It took me ages to figure out how to use the big, scary camera with so many different functions, and even more ages to understand things like lighting, lenses, aperture, ISO and all of those very confusing things. But I couldn't stay away from my little camera so I just kept playing with it and eventually over a long time, became familiar with the things that had once seemed way over my head.
I learned how to edit my photos naturally too, using natural lighting and accentuating details so that the photo was always true to what I had shot, but was more pronounced.
The whole world inspires me. The snow, the flowers, the people. It's all so detailed and loved. Photography has been the song of myself I've been looking for, for so long. This life is so important, and I want to treasure it forever. That little shutter has shown me who I am, and that was all I needed to go out into the world without being afraid or ashamed.
Oh sweet little camera, thank you so much! Thank you for being my journal, for teaching me to try new things, to explore, to hike, to roam, to let loose my emotions and dreams and share them, thank you for letting me see myself in a new light and for giving me a means to hold on tightly to this life that I cherish, and the lives of all the beautiful people around me. This is such a special blessing...I'm overwhelmingly thrilled to be trotting off to school soon to learn more and more and more! I'm going to just freak out in those labs, I just know it hehe :D
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Well my loves, I would write something much better and super cool, but there's a little Rebellious Canon blinking at me from nearby and about 3 or 4 inches at least of newfallen snow, so I will have to tell you mas things later! I love youuuuuuu <3
That's why, my wonderful friends, I am absolutely in love with the magical invention called a camera.
Everything about it stirs my chubby heart. I love the little click it makes, the massive lenses that I change to capture the birds from 200 meters away or to sneak into the tiny world of a flower or bumblebee. I wish I could explain how much joy and inspiration and change this one simple tool has brought into my humble world. There are many splendid ways of capturing the imagination, and every one of us is an incredible artist each in our own ways as we explore the meaning of our lives and the mystery of the spirit surrounding us.
I love paints, I love sketching pencils. I go crazy with writing, pouring myself out in words comes so naturally and just feels so right. Always with a pen or typing, I can speak myself clearly without the stumbling and shyness that sometimes sneaks up on me when I engage with the people I care about day to day.
But there is nothing, nothing like a camera for me. Nothing like pressing that blessed little button and stopping all of time forever, to revisit whenever I want to.
It drives me crazy. Do you know that silly feeling when you absolutely itch in your soul to do what your heart loves best? It's very bad of me, cause I used to tease a wonderful friend for his inclination to carry his movie camera with him everywhere, no matter what we were doing; oh but now I understand so deeply. When you find the thing that expresses so profoundly everything that you feel and love and savor, it comes to your mind whenever another beautiful moment arises. I feel a deep need to capture.
I also have a very poor memory, and if I don't have something written down or photographed that I can return to, sometimes my memories lie sleeping in my mind for ages and I forget them completely.
But I want to be a time-traveler, able to return to when I was fourteen and twenty and what I did a few weeks ago. I hope so much that my great Love has something like a camera in His Kingdom, some way to freeze the moments of eternity and return to them whenever I wish.
Photographs have broken and freed my heart. In a glance, I can return to people I miss dearly and feel that somehow, I'm still with them. I have a very beautiful photo of my grandmother and my sweet Cilla hugging on a flowery porch at my aunt's house in the country, and every time I see it, it makes me feel as if we aren't separated for now. Somehow from within the depths of the photograph, they visit with me.
Photos can even be dangerous for me. I get lost in nostalgia sometimes, and have had to hide photos from myself (but I always keep them) so that I wouldn't stumble across them and get hit with a wave of reverie that would take me away from the happiness in my present moments.
Photos became my diary a few years ago; a journal for myself when I found my hands empty and I was unsure of how to see myself anymore. I didn't know who I was or what I was meant for; I felt like life's biggo-est failure and I was greatly unhappy with who I was. I had a very small camera, a simple little purple one that didn't work very well and washed everything out colorwise, but I loved it and every now and then when I felt lost, I'd hold it out at arms length and try to catch a glimpse of the lovable, vibrant and enthusiastic girl I hoped was resting somewhere inside of me.
And it worked!
With every photo, somehow I felt that I knew myself better. I hadn't been very happy whenever someone wanted to take my peekture before. There's lots of photos of me when I was a little Lulu either scowling or making a very goofy face cause cameras made me uncomfortable. But I always loved when the photos arrived, in shiny square prints. I'd look through them again and again and again. I was crazy about pictures of us.
When I joined the community called Flickr, I didn't use it as a portfolio, I just got lost in the massive sea of other peoples lives. The photos were so exquisite and glorious, of people I would never meet and places I might never see. I could travel the world and see millions of stories without moving an inch. That's when I started to get excited about sharing my stories too. My wonderful Poppies friend Bethie traded me her DSLR for my easier to use point and shoot, and unwittingly began me on the funnest journey I've ever been on.
It took me ages to figure out how to use the big, scary camera with so many different functions, and even more ages to understand things like lighting, lenses, aperture, ISO and all of those very confusing things. But I couldn't stay away from my little camera so I just kept playing with it and eventually over a long time, became familiar with the things that had once seemed way over my head.
I learned how to edit my photos naturally too, using natural lighting and accentuating details so that the photo was always true to what I had shot, but was more pronounced.
The whole world inspires me. The snow, the flowers, the people. It's all so detailed and loved. Photography has been the song of myself I've been looking for, for so long. This life is so important, and I want to treasure it forever. That little shutter has shown me who I am, and that was all I needed to go out into the world without being afraid or ashamed.
Oh sweet little camera, thank you so much! Thank you for being my journal, for teaching me to try new things, to explore, to hike, to roam, to let loose my emotions and dreams and share them, thank you for letting me see myself in a new light and for giving me a means to hold on tightly to this life that I cherish, and the lives of all the beautiful people around me. This is such a special blessing...I'm overwhelmingly thrilled to be trotting off to school soon to learn more and more and more! I'm going to just freak out in those labs, I just know it hehe :D
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Well my loves, I would write something much better and super cool, but there's a little Rebellious Canon blinking at me from nearby and about 3 or 4 inches at least of newfallen snow, so I will have to tell you mas things later! I love youuuuuuu <3
:)
ReplyDeleteA warm big smile coming from my hear to yours!
and SNOOOW! oh yes SNOOW!! Your Papa God just loves you so much even giving you, your very own snow to romp in! :) hehehehe <3
heart hehe I so meant heart!
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